Over a Hurdle: It’s Been Hard…

I feel a massive sense of relief!!!!!! It’s taken me over a week to get my latest post out. My writing process is generally quick since my thoughts whirl at tremendous speed in my head. Both a blessing and a curse.

This, however, has been my most challenging article.

From the moment I discovered writing as a form of therapy, it has always been a great tool to help me process some very deeply buried issues. This apparently was one of them. I thought I had worked through the effects of racism but clearly, all of these new anti-Chinese attacks have brought up feelings I was not fully aware of.

The hurt for my child self. The pain of realizing that for all the work I have done little has changed. It’s left me feeling hopeless and questioning how can I be more impactful in shifting Canadian standards to ensure Black, Indigenous, people of colour (BIPoC) are not only included but represented. How do I contribute to ensure that the verbal rhetoric is backed by concrete actions by politicians and my neighbours?

By working through my frustration and anger, I was able to finish this piece and have a glimmer of hope as to how I can move forward and contribute.

I remember a conversation with a friend who said his ultimate life goal is to make ‘fuck you money’…enough money to live free and not be dictated by anyone. My response was to leave this earth knowing I have made truly impactful change for the betterment of humanity, even if its only half a step forward.

Hopefully, processes like these will help me to fine tune my efforts to ensure that the work I do is genuinely impactful.